Falling in Love at First Sight, is it Lust or Sincerity?
- U-Report
VIVA – Many people speculate that two strangers can fall in love at the first time they meet. But, is love at first sight real? Or just lust?
Many things happen physiologically that can make the early stages of romance feel like love, from causing an influx of hormones to activating areas of the brain associated with addictive behavior. But some researchers argue that love, at first sight, is just lust and that real love comes later after a couple’s bond is established.
Sincerity of love or lust?
So, what is love? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, love is a strong affection for another person arising from kinship or personal ties. While a team of scientists from Rutgers University, New Jersey suggests that love can be divided into three categories namely lust, attraction, and attachment.
Attraction, lust, and attachment are connected and reinforce each other, according to a 2016 review in the Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism. But they are distinct processes in the brain where each is mediated by its neurotransmitters and circuits.
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- U-Report
While the hormones testosterone and estrogen, controlled by the amygdala – the area of the brain that regulates emotions – are responsible for lust, attraction is determined by the stress and reward centers.
The neurotransmitters dopamine, noradrenaline, and cortisol get involved when one feels attracted to someone. In terms of attachment, oxytocin, and vasopressin become more dominant.
So initial attraction towards someone is not love, says Deborah Lee, reproductive health specialist and medical writer for Dr. Fox Online Pharmacy in the UK.
"Psychologists argue against experiencing true love the first time you see another person. This is because love develops over time as you begin to love the other person's thoughts, values, and skills. True love is not just about sexual attraction and desire," Lee said.
When it comes to love at first sight, the feeling is more likely to be lust, says Eric Ryden, a doctor of clinical psychology and couple’s therapist at the Couples Therapy clinic in the UK.
"That wonderful intoxicating feeling doesn't last long. Also, if one is looking for a long-term partner, love, at first sight, is not a sign that you have found the right partner. It has more to do with physical attraction and lust than long-lasting romantic love," Ryden explains.
Love or addiction?
The early stages of love can look similar to addiction, Deborah Lee said where the areas of the brain that are active at the first glance are similar to when addicted to cocaine.
When a lover is focused on their partner, they feel crazy, experience mood swings along with bouts of euphoria, act obsessively or compulsively, live in a distorted reality and often depend on others, just like a person's behavior when addicted to cocaine.
However, these feelings soften as the relationship ages. The later stages of romantic love no longer mimic drug addiction, according to a 2016 study in the journal Frontiers in Psychology.
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