Falling in Love at First Sight, is it Lust or Sincerity?

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VIVA – Many people speculate that two strangers can fall in love at the first time they meet. But, is love at first sight real? Or just lust?

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Many things happen physiologically that can make the early stages of romance feel like love, from causing an influx of hormones to activating areas of the brain associated with addictive behavior. But some researchers argue that love, at first sight, is just lust and that real love comes later after a couple’s bond is established.

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Sincerity of love or lust?

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So, what is love? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, love is a strong affection for another person arising from kinship or personal ties. While a team of scientists from Rutgers University, New Jersey suggests that love can be divided into three categories namely lust, attraction, and attachment.

Attraction, lust, and attachment are connected and reinforce each other, according to a 2016 review in the Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism. But they are distinct processes in the brain where each is mediated by its neurotransmitters and circuits.

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While the hormones testosterone and estrogen, controlled by the amygdala – the area of the brain that regulates emotions – are responsible for lust, attraction is determined by the stress and reward centers.

The neurotransmitters dopamine, noradrenaline, and cortisol get involved when one feels attracted to someone. In terms of attachment, oxytocin, and vasopressin become more dominant.

So initial attraction towards someone is not love, says Deborah Lee, reproductive health specialist and medical writer for Dr. Fox Online Pharmacy in the UK.

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"Psychologists argue against experiencing true love the first time you see another person. This is because love develops over time as you begin to love the other person's thoughts, values, and skills. True love is not just about sexual attraction and desire," Lee said.

When it comes to love at first sight, the feeling is more likely to be lust, says Eric Ryden, a doctor of clinical psychology and couple’s therapist at the Couples Therapy clinic in the UK.

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